Now you know I’m a huge supporter of throwing the wedding rulebook out of the window and having your day, your way. Because let’s face it they are boring and so hetro! Some traditions date back 23,000 years ago!!! It really is time for weddings to be updated and brought into this century! Here are my top ten wedding traditions that have got to go:
1. Not seeing the bride before the ceremony
This tradition comes from, when marriages were arranged.
Nowadays most couples have been together a while, live together and even have a family. So if you don’t feel comfortable being away from your partner for the night, don’t! Get ready together and go to the ceremony together. You’ve done everything else together, so why not this?
2. Being given away
The tradition of the father giving you away was because traditionally the father would arrange his ‘owned’ daughters marriage when he deemed a man acceptable. Ugh!!!
We are not anyone’s to give away. Period.
You can still walk down the aisle with your father, your mum or both if you wanted. You could walk by yourself or with your partner. You’ve been side by side for years why stop now?
3.Traditional Bridal Wear
The white dress tradition goes back to the Romans when brides wore a white tunic to symbolise purity. The Groom and Groomsmen wearing matching suits to the wedding dates back to the medieval times to confuse evil spirits.
Wear whatever makes you feel a million dollars! If white dresses don’t suit you wear your favourite colour. If dresses or suits aren’t your thing, wear what makes you feel comfortable. Not used to wearing heels opt for doc martins or trainers instead.
4. Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
The Bridal Party dates back to the Romans, where it was required by law to have ten witnesses present. They had to dress just like the bride and groom to confuse any real life jealous suitors who may try to harm the newlyweds.
You can choose close friends, family or even your pets to be in your bridal squad no matter what gender they identify as, you don’t even have to have anyone if you don’t want to! You only need two witnesses legally and they don’t even have to be part of your squad.
5. Non personalised ceremonies
If you have been to a wedding before in a church or with a registrar you will know that they can be long or extremely short and very repetitive. Most guests dread this part of the day; this is the whole reason for the day in the first place.
You are getting married, so why not make it fun and the most enjoyed part of the day! Get yourself a celebrant, I cannot recommend a celebrant led wedding enough. It is completely personalised to you as a couple. Other ceremonies are not, the only personalisation will be your names.
Traditionally the Father of the bride would make a speech, as they would be hosting the wedding, then the groom and then the best man. Nowadays anyone should be able to make a speech if they so wish and not if they don’t. As this can be extremely nerve wrecking for some people, so make sure the person you would like to make a speech is comfortable doing so or take them out altogether!
7. Cutting of the cake
The cutting of the cake, is one of the first activities done by a couple and was actually made by the bride on her own to symbolize the loss of her virginity.
Apart form a nice photo opportunity, it is quite a pointless activity at a wedding now!
8. Bouquet toss
Originating from England for hundreds of years, women would try to get hold of bits from the bouquet or her dress for good luck, so the bride would then toss her bouquet to get away.
It’s just another added expense for you to have another flower bouquet made, so if it is not a tradition you feel strongly about, get rid!
9. First dance
The first dance traditionally was a fertility ceremony where brides were brought from their fathers.
Nowadays the first dance is more romantic but don’t feel you have to do an awkward slow dance. Have your fav rock song played, have everyone else on the dance floor with you. Do a choreographed routine with your bridal squad. But if the thought of the first dance fills you dread having all eyes on you for a dance you don’t even want to do, don’t do it, take it out!
10. Consummating the marriage
This tradition comes from when sex before marriage was not allowed and it was the act that proved the brides virginity.
I’m telling you now your wedding day is full on and by the time you get back home/to your hotel/glamping pod you will be cream crackered! So please don’t feel you have to do this for your marriage to last, this does not make your marriage legit, complete or legal. If you can and want to go for it! But do not feel pressured into having to do the deed on your wedding night when all you want to do is sleep!
Thanks for reading
x Jodie x
Next see my blog on alternative wedding bouquets.