You may have seen or heard about The Let Them Theory circulating the socials and YouTube again recently. Something that originally went viral in 2023 and if you haven’t, I thoroughly recommend you search it up and read Mel Robbins Book ‘The Let Them Theory’.  It really struck a chord with me when I first learnt about it and I have been using it ever since in my everyday life. The core teachings is using it in your relationships, career, opinions stress, love life, struggle and in this blog. I wanted to dig deeper and talk about how we can use it in your wedding planning in The Let Them Theory: Wedding Edition.

For Alternative and Neurodivergent Couples

If you’re planning a wedding that doesn’t quite fit the traditional mold—maybe it’s a goth wedding in the woods, a celestial elopement under the stars, or a casual backyard get-together with a taco truck—chances are, you’ve received some opinions.

And if you’re neurodivergent, the stress of social expectations and decision-making fatigue can make wedding planning even more overwhelming. Enter the ‘Let Them’ theory, a mindset shift that can help you reclaim your power during this process.

It’s a way to release the burden of people-pleasing and focus on what truly matters: celebrating your love in a way that feels authentic to you both. And by letting them show you who they are, it releases back your power to you. You can only control yourself.

Corpse-Bride-wings
Photographer: Adam Prescott Wedding Photographer

How to Apply It to Your Wedding Planning

  1. Let them have their opinions.
    Not everyone will understand your vision, and that’s okay. Your wedding is not a group project—it’s a reflection of you and your partner.
  2. Let them decline the invitation.
    If someone doesn’t want to attend because it’s too different for them, that’s their choice. It’s better to have guests who support your love than people who feel obligated to be there.
  3. Let them judge.
    Whether you’re skipping a white dress, ditching a wedding party, or embracing a theme that’s unconventional, there will be opinions. But their judgment does not affect your happiness.
  4. Let them be surprised.
    Maybe your wedding doesn’t follow the script they expected. Maybe it’s a silent disco, a Renaissance fair, or a cozy ceremony with just a handful of people. Let them be surprised—and let them see love celebrated your way.
  5. Let them talk.
    Families love to gossip. Guests may whisper about your choices. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re marrying the person you love in a way that feels right for you.
Corpse-Bride-
wedding
Photographer: Adam Prescott Wedding Photographer

Embracing the ‘Let Them’ Mindset

When you release the need for external validation, you create space for joy. Weddings can be overwhelming, especially for neurodivergent individuals who may experience heightened sensory sensitivities, decision paralysis, or social exhaustion. The ‘Let Them’ theory allows you to set boundaries, prioritise your well-being, and create a wedding day that truly honours who you are.

Your wedding is yours. Your love is yours. Your choices are yours. And the people who truly care? They’ll celebrate right alongside you.

So, Let Them—because you deserve to Let You enjoy your wedding, your way.

Thanks for Reading

x Jodie x

Next read my blog on How to plan a wedding when you are neurodivergent