You’re getting married.
Wahoo Exciting!
You’ve got venues to see, wedding outfits to try on, menus and cake flavours to taste and then someone casually says “You’ve given notice right?”
Give notice of WHAT?!
Obviously, you and your partner know you are getting married. Your friends and families know. But apparently the government also needs to know… Who knew!
So what actually happens when you give notice?
You attend an appointment at your local registry offices (where you both live even if you’re not getting married in that area), which you can find here and this must be done at least 28 days before your legal ceremony takes place (your legal ceremony must take place within a year of the date your notice was entered). You will need to know when and where you are getting married so make sure you have booked this first and if that changes at any point you will have to give notice again.
But why? It allows 28 days for anyone to raise a legal objection to the marriage.
The Paperwork
The registrar checks your documents. Ah yes. The paperwork.
Because nothing says romance quite like trying to remember where you put your birth certificate.
You’ll need to take the documents required for your circumstances, which can include proof of identity, proof of address and other documents relating to your nationality, immigration status, name changes or previous marriages like your decree absolute.
And they need to be the original documents, not a photo you took of them three years ago and forgot existed.
So my advice?
Check everything.
Then check it again.
Then get your other half to check it.
The questions
You then get asked the questions.
Couples may have visions of sitting in a tiny room under a suspiciously bright fluorescent light while someone interrogates you like you’ve been caught smuggling wedding cake across the border.
“State your name.”
“How do you know this person?”
“And WHERE were you on the evening of June 26th?”
Thankfully, it’s not that dramatic.
The appointment is basically a legal bit of wedding admin.
The registrar takes your details and asks you a series of questions so your notice can be officially recorded.
Sounds simple.
And it is.
But that doesn’t stop your brain from completely forgetting basic information the second someone starts asking you questions.
Now, these aren’t trick questions.
Nobody is going to ask you:
“What is your partner’s favourite toy as a child?”
The questions are:
- Full names including any previous ones
- Dates of birth and nationalities/Immigration Status
- Address and how long you have both lived there
- Occupations
- Parents’/Guardians’ Names and occupations if you want them included on the marriage certificate
- Familial relationship confirmation (whether you and your partner are related to each other)
- Previous Marital status’
- Wedding venue (name, address, date and time of where/when your legal ceremony will take place)
You will generally be sat together to review the paperwork and then head in separately to answer the questions.
Basically, information about you both, which sounds incredibly easy, until the moment you realise this is actually quite official and your brain goes “what’s my name again?”
Why does it do that?
And then you sign your lives away… Just kidding! You both sign a legal document to confirm your intention to marry or form a civil partnership.
What if you get something wrong?
This is probably one of the biggest worries.
What if you forget something or give the wrong answer?
What if you suddenly realise you have accidentally been using the wrong date of birth for the last 30 years?
Relax.
The registrar is there to guide you through the process.
If you’re unsure about something, ask.
My advice? Don’t panic.
If you’ve got your appointment coming up, don’t spend the night before convincing yourself you’re about to sit an exam you haven’t revised for.
You haven’t.
It’s not a test.
Take your documents.
Know your basic details.
Know your venue.
Answer the questions honestly.
And if you’re unsure about something, ask.
That’s it.
Then you can walk out of the registry office, breathe a huge sigh of relief and celebrate the fact that you’ve ticked off another very important wedding job.
And then comes the best bit…
Once you’ve given notice, you can get back to the fun stuff.
And, of course, the million little decisions that come with planning a wedding.
But at least now you can say:
“We’ve given notice.”
Which sounds incredibly grown-up. Don’t do it, it’s a trick!
Even if you’re still eating biscuits for dinner and Googling whether you can have a wedding cake made entirely of cheese.
Thnkd for reading
x Jodie x
Click here to read my blog on how to plan a wedding when neurodivergent